It feels fitting to begin the Thoughts section with this idea.
It comes from the The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt, one of my favourite books in popular psychology.
I am writing it down here for my future self
Events in the world affect us only through our interpretations of them, so if we can control our interpretations, we can control our world.
When I first read it, it felt quietly important. Its power lies in how it quietly shifts responsibility to where it belongs: with you.
You may not control what happens, but you do control how you respond.
I know that this is not easy, especially when fast, convenient, and emotionally satisfying reactions present themselves.
Yet wisdom tends to live in the long view. Slowing down — even briefly — creates enough space to see consequences that would otherwise remain hidden.
In the end, what matters is whether your choice truly serves you. Better still if it benefits those around you.
Still self-kindness is essential. Some situations just hurt too much. Some consequences are just unavoidable.
Choose the path forward that is gentlest to you and those around you. Move on without self-reproach.
I will close by recalling a lesson that I first heard more than a decade ago from Ajahn Brahm, a well-known Buddhist monk based in Australia. Paraphrased:
If someone calls you a dog, pause and reflect honestly. If it’s true, thank them and let it go. If it’s not, do not let anger take hold — otherwise you allow then to call you a dog again and again.
You are in control.